


Hope is a Dangerous Thing

by madryn



Category: She-Ra and the Princesses of Power (2018)
Genre: Adora-centric, Alternate Universe - Adora Remains with the Horde (She-Ra), Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, F/F, Flowers, Hanahaki AU, Hanahaki Disease, Horde Adora (She-Ra), Hurt Adora, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Abuse, Minor Character Death, Time Skips
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-03-09
Updated: 2019-03-09
Packaged: 2019-11-14 07:45:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,389
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18048464
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/madryn/pseuds/madryn
Summary: "I'll always protect you, Adora. We're a team, you and I. Us against the world, yeah?" Her lips quirked upwards into a blink-and-you-miss-it smile, but Adora saw it. Adora saw it, because she only had eyes for Catra. She would only ever have eyes for Catra, she would come to find out in the years to come. It was a shame, then, that Catra would not feel the same way.A Hanahaki Disease AU.





	Hope is a Dangerous Thing

_Twelve_.

Adora crept through the dark and unforgiving hallways of the Fright Zone. She was not scared of the darkness; the darkness was what protected her and kept her hidden from members of the Horde. Hiding in the dark did not do much against Shadow Weaver, but her mentor hardly ever did more than scream at her or warp shadows with the intent of frightening her into submission. 

It was the men she feared, anyways. 

Sometimes generals from other Horde stations would show up, big and mean. Their knuckles bruised and bloody, their attendants bruised and bloody. Adora was young, but living in such a place had caused her to grow up quicker than one would hope for a child. She learned not to look such men in the eye, because it reared some ugly thing deep inside of them. Keep your head down and your footsteps light. That was how you stayed safe.

A girl who had roomed alongside Adora in the Fright Zone's dormitory had not listened. She was older than Adora by a few years, but she had grown up much slower and was far too naive to be living in the Fright Zone. The girl had been rescued ( _captured_ , Adora's mind said torturously) from the rebellion, Shadow Weaver had told her. Her name was Romura and she had pleaded with Adora to help her escape, to help her go back home. Adora had begged her not to try to flee with big blue eyes glistening with distress, and she pulled on her hands to try to stop her from leaving. 

"It's not safe!" Adora begged, her little hands tight around Romura's wrist. The older girl's long, silver hair was a mess and her green eyes were bloodshot from lack of sleep. The Fright Zone was a place of horrors for those who did not find comfort in its crevices. "Listen to me, please!"

"I have to go home," Romura told her, eyes unseeing even as they turned to meet Adora's own. She was shaking, Adora realized, but Adora was too. They were both scared, but for different reasons. Or, maybe, it was the same reason: they were both afraid of what was going to happen to Romura. The silver-haired girl jerked her hand out of Adora's grasp and walked out the dormitory door, her head raised high and her back ramrod straight. 

That was the last time Adora had seen Romura. 

She was the only child in the Fright Zone, now. 

Adora had made the mistake of asking Shadow Weaver, months later, what had happened.

"Where has Romura gone?" Adora had asked, lips trembling as she stumbled through the corridors behind Shadow Weaver. The decrepit woman seemed to float down the hallways rather than walk, Adora had once thought to herself. During the months prior Adora had been too afraid to broach the subject with Shadow Weaver, but for once the woman was in a good mood rather than a bad one. 

For a long moment Shadow Weaver was silent and Adora started to believe that the woman just had not heard her speak. But, then, she came to an abrupt halt that nearly caused Adora to run into her back. The shadows of the hallway seemed to creep in closer, and Adora recognized that it was one of Shadow Weaver's fear tactics trying to mess with Adora's mind.

"She thought she was smarter than I was," the woman began, turning her head slowly to look down at the young child by her side. Shadow Weaver's mask was a blank slate and that scared Adora more than the men, more than the future; the lack of empathy in a person was what made them dangerous. Empathy had never resided within Shadow Weaver's bones. "So I let her go, running off into the forest."

"You freed her?" Her voice was surprised, awed. Maybe Shadow Weaver was not the villain Adora thought her to be. Maybe there was good inside the ghoul of a woman.

"Yes, I freed her." The woman confirmed, continuing on down the hallway as she had been doing before the original question had been brought up. "And then I freed the dogs. They've been rather hungry, lately."

At first the meaning of Shadow Weaver's words went right over Adora's head. She poked a tongue out through the gap in her teeth and thought the sentence over again in her head. When she finally realized what the woman had told her, horror struck through her bones and made her stop dead in her tracks. "You.. you mean that-"

"Her screams were most delightful!" Shadow Weaver said with a chuckle, stopping at the door that would lead her to a meeting with some Horde soldiers that were ranked lower than herself. She hated it when Adora called them soldiers, but she knew that was what they were. "I hope you do not suffer the same fate she did, Adora. I love you far too much."

The words sickened Adora and she stood stock still as the door slammed closed behind Shadow Weaver, leaving the young blonde alone in the badly lit hallways with only the shadows for company. The imagery of savage dogs tearing into the frightened girl played like a loop in Adora's mind for months afterward. It was something she figured she would never forget.

Adora was pulled from the memory at the sound of the large metal gate of the Fright Zone sliding open with a metallic clang. She had been hiding in the alcove of one of the many hallways linking the buildings of the Fright Zone together, peering out a dirty window with one eye. Two Horde soldiers were dragging in... something. 

Adora wished she could hear what the soldiers were saying to each other, but she was too far away from them and the walls and glass of the Fright Zone were much too thick for any sound to pass through easily. She looked down at the watch strapped tightly to her wrist, a present from Shadow Weaver herself, and saw that it was nearing the time in which her mentor would float into the dormitory in search of Adora. The blonde spared one last glance out the window, but the soldiers and their mysterious find were long gone and Adora focused instead on getting back to her room.

By now, Adora had mastered the art of quieting her footsteps. She ran the entire way back to the dormitory without making much noise at all, because that was how she trained herself to move. Being silent meant being safe, after all. 

She made it back to her room before Shadow Weaver did, which eased some of the tension out of Adora's body. The girl had been late once in getting back to the dormitory and had arrived to see an irate Shadow Weaver awaiting her arrival. Her punishment was harsh and the magically driven electric shocks had left Adora's muscles spasming for three weeks afterward. Adora made sure after that to never be late again. 

"Adora!" The ghoul said, her voice elated and jovial as she ghosted into the room. Her shadows were drawn in, but Adora had long since stopped being afraid of them anyways. Shadow Weaver stopped in the center of the dormitory and looked around at all of the empty beds. 

"Hello, Shadow Weaver," she said, because that was what was expected of her.

"My dear Adora, you must be awfully lonely in here," she began, trailing a gloved hand across one of the empty mattresses that made up the top of a bunk. "It's a good thing that I'm letting you have some friends, isn't it?"

"Friends?" Adora asked, eyes big and starstruck. She did not mean to lose control over herself, but she was still so young and always so lonely. She missed Romura despite not knowing her for long, because she was the only semblance of a friend that Adora had ever known. "You mean there are going to be other kids here? For real?"

Shadow Weaver let out something akin to a purr and pressed one gloved hand against Adora's cheek. The girl leaned into the touch, touch was something she craved more than anything-

"Oh, Adora," the woman chuckled, her body leaning over Adora's. The gloved hand on Adora's face tightened its grip on her chin, and she fought to stifle a flinch. "When have I ever lied to you, my dear?"

"Never," Adora said, but they both knew it was a lie. 

"I love you, my dear," Shadow Weaver told her, but they both knew that was a lie, too.

It was not until three days later that Adora found out what exactly those Horde soldiers had been dragging into the Fright Zone that night. 

Adora had been in training simulation after training simulation for most of the day. Training simulations were nothing new to her; Shadow Weaver had taught Adora to wield a staff and then a sword far before Adora had meant even Romura. 

Shadow Weaver was always impressed by Adora's capacity for learning. Her prowess in absorbing information was how Adora had been given access to the training rooms and Shadow Weaver's personal library. The woman wanted her ( _prisoner_ , Adora's brain supplied) child to be intelligent and quick-witted, battle ready and power hungry. To have a child whose brain had been stagnant had never been on Shadow Weaver's mind, and thus Adora learned and learned. 

That day in the training simulation Adora had been working on battling three robots at a time. Each robot deftly wielded a staff while Adora wielded a sword that had been gifted to her by Shadow Weaver a year prior. It was hard work, and by the end of it Adora had been bruised and sweaty and tired. 

Adora allowed herself a moment to breathe as the training simulation finally powered down. Her ribs were aching something awful after a particularly horrible hit from one of the robots, and blood was slowly dripping onto her eyelid from a cut on her forehead. Other than that, however, Adora was not feeling much pain. 

She raised herself to her feet after her moment was up, turning on her heel and walking stiffly across the gym-sized room towards the exit. The floor beneath her was made up of glowing hexagons but the walls were black and blank. There was nothing else in the room, because all of the training equipment rose out of the floor when needed. Adora did not particularly enjoy being in the room when it was silent. For some reason the room arose a certain paranoia within Adora, one that she hated feeling. 

Escaping down the hallway and back towards the dormitory was comforting, because Adora knew the paths well and took in all the sights she had seen a thousand times. A crack in the floor panelling there, a water stain on a patch of the ceiling there; seeing things that were familiar to her comforted Adora. 

The moment Adora opened her bedroom door and heard a hiss of anger in response was the moment she knew something was monumentally different. Adora paused with one hand one the frame of the doorway and one out in front of her in protection. Shadow Weaver's name was on the tip of her tongue, because, despite being a rather terrible caretaker, the woman did tend to favor Adora's safety. 

She paused, though, when she realized what had made the noise. Or, rather, who had made the noise.

"Hello?" Adora said, edging farther into the room. Her eyes were wide in wonder as she looked at the shivering form that was hiding under one of the unused dormitory beds. "My name's Adora, I live here. What's your name?"

The form under the bed did little more than hiss again, but this time the hiss was less scary and much more pitiful. Adora felt a rush of guilt flood her veins as she realized just how terrified the other person was. 

"Don't worry," Adora tried again, sitting down on the floor and crossing her legs. Both of her hands were held out with raised palms as Adora tried her best to look as non-threatening as she possibly could. "I won't hurt you, I promise. It's really scary here, but I can teach you how to avoid getting in trouble. You don't have to be afraid of me."

Mismatched eyes met Adora's own blue ones and Adora did her best not to shy away from the eye contact. Despite Adora having conditioned herself to always look away, she did not have a hard time keeping contact with the stranger hiding under the bed. They seemed safe, for some reason. They seemed like a person Adora could trust... she hoped she was right. 

"Promise?" The stranger said, their voice quiet but rough. It was obvious from the tone that they had been crying; they had the same twinge to their voice that Adora got after she herself cried. It was a child's voice, too. They had the same highness to their voice that Adora had, that Romura had, that none of the adults in the Fright Zone had.

"I promise." Adora told them, her voice strong with finality and her eyes shining in truth. "I'll never lie to you."

In the next moment, Adora had her arms and lap filled with a shaking, trembling child. It was uncomfortable because the child was the same size as Adora and was awfully heavy, but Adora wanted to give them the comfort they craved. She tried not to tell herself that she had been craving touch for far too long and that she selfishly wanted the skin on skin contact that she could not remember ever having. 

"My name's Catra," the stranger told her long after the minutes had stretched into hours. They were on Adora's bed, now. Adora was on her back, staring up at the ceiling while Catra was curled up in a ball against Adora's hip. The blonde's blue blanket was wrapped tightly around her new friend despite Adora's light shivering. She knew Catra needed the comfort more than she needed warmth. "Mama always told me that I was the strongest girl she knew, but... I'm so scared."

"Being scared doesn't make you weak," Adora told her, smiling down at the other girl. "I'd like to think that fright breeds strength. Being scared means that you're smart."

"You think?" Catra said, her voice small. She was looking up at Adora with those big, trusting eyes and Adora felt something strong and protective stirring in her chest. 

"Yeah, I do." Adora said.

Together they fell asleep, side by side, and Adora liked to think that was the moment when she first felt real affection for another person. The first moment where she looked at another person and felt like she could trust them with anything. Maybe it had been premature, but Adora was still a child. She still had that sweet naivety swindled in her chest that she had not let lost. 

____________________ 

_Thirteen_.

Adora had been stupid. 

She was older now, she was supposed to be smart now, too. 

Catra had been living with her in the dormitory for a year, now. Shadow Weaver had made a few appearances, far less than Adora was used to. It was not necessarily a good sign, but Adora did not know what kind of sign it was. She took it for what it was worth, though, and spent nearly all of her time with Catra. 

They were great friends; Catra filled a hole in Adora's heart that had been there since, well, forever. Catra had warmed up to the Fright Zone quickly, within a week she had been coercing Adora into playing games with her and sneaking into places they should not be. Catra and Adora began a new game of tag that took place solely in the ventilation ducts crisscrossing through the walls and ceilings of the buildings within the Fright Zone. Adora taught Catra how to wield a staff and a sword, as per Shadow Weaver's instructions, but Catra found that she preferred to use her claws as a weapon. Together they studied the books in Shadow Weaver's library, but most of the time Adora found herself reading books out loud as Catra dozed lightly next to her. 

It had been one of those days where the two young girls spent their time playing a game of tag. Adora did not like playing the game in the main hallways, but Catra had convinced her with pleading eyes and a whine. 

Catra had been chasing Adora as she ran, giggling, through the hallways. 

Adora had cantered her head back to yell to Catra, but she did not have the chance to speak the words in her head. As she had turned the corner, Adora had ran directly into one of the generals visiting the Fright Zone. He was big and mean, known for switching through attendants like clothes and carrying his weapon on his person at all times. 

"Where do you think you are going?" He had growled, irate. Adora took a few measly steps back; Shadow Weaver was gone and Adora was too far from any of her hiding places, and she did not know what to do.

"I-I'm sorry, sir," Adora whimpered, eyes fixated on her feet and fingers clenching into her thighs. "It won't happen again."

"You're damn right it won't happen again." He hissed, his large reptilian tail dragging on the floor behind him as he neared Adora. The general's eyebrows were furrowed low over his eyes, which were slanted and bright yellow. He was covered in what seemed to be sporadic patches of scales that matched in texture and color to the scales on his tail. The parts of his skin that were not scaled were flaky and dry; he looked absolutely menacing. 

Adora could only stand stock still as the Horde general neared her. 

She knew he was going to hit her. She had to learn her lesson; Adora had seen many people suffer the fate she was about to fall privy to. Big blue eyes clenched shut as Adora waiting for her punishment, muscles tense as she waited for the burst of pain to spring forth. 

It never came. 

Instead, the general yelled out in pain instead of Adora.

Adora blinked open her big blue eyes to see that the Horde general was now on his back with a puffed up Catra standing over him. Her mismatched eyes were bright with fury and the claws of her right hand were extended, glistening with blood. Adora was confused at the sight of blood momentarily. 

_Whose blood is that?_ She thought, her mind slow from the shock and her brain whirring too fast to comprehend. But, then she realized: it was the general's blood. 

"If you ever think to touch her again, I _will_ kill you." Catra spat, delivering a swift and painful kick to the reptile's ribs. He grunted in pain and curled himself slightly in an attempt to alleviate his hurt. Above him, Catra looked absolutely furious; her fur was puffed up and her claws extended, ears pulled back tight against her skull and sharp teeth bared from behind her lips. 

"Just you wait, little girl," he hissed, the blood from the cuts on his face swelling and dripping steadily onto the metal floors with resounding plops. "I'll get you back for this."

"Good luck trying." The girl responded with finality, spitting on the general in one last play of power. Catra then turned and looked straight to Adora; once Catra made eye contact with Adora and was sure the other girl was unharmed, her eyes softened and her claws retracted. She gently clasped Adora's hand in her own and pulled her along through the dimly lit corridors that led back to their shared room. 

The two were silent for the length of the walk back to the dormitory. Adora kept stealing glances at Catra out of the corner of her eye, but Catra was staring resolutely ahead. She wanted to say something, anything that would break the silence between them, but Adora was still so shaken from the events that had occurred. She had never, ever, dared to stand up to the men of the Horde, yet Catra had done so without question in order to protect her. A feeling she could not name swelled up deep inside Adora's chest and left her feeling uncomfortable and aching. 

Catra slowed as the turned into the hallway that housed the door to their room. She placed her left hand - the hand not holding Adora's own - over the scanner to gain access. When the security system verified Catra's handprint, the girl tugged on Adora's hand and led them through the doorway. They walked into the room hand in hand, and Adora felt safe. 

Catra tried to let go of Adora's hand, but the latter tightened her grip. The action caused Catra to still, her muscles tensing.

"Thank you," Adora said, quickly. Her face was red and her eyes glistened with unshed tears. "Thank you so much, Catra. I wouldn't have been able to- I couldn't have... I just-"

The feeling of Catra's hand resting gently against Adora's cheek caused her to freeze, her words dying in her mouth. Catra was looking at her with a serious expression, but there was warmth in her mismatched eyes and affection in her tone when she spoke. 

"You didn't do anything wrong," Catra said, her tone final. "He was the one that messed up."

"Still, it means a lot." Adora sniffled, a lone tear escaping from her eye to travel slowly down her cheek. Catra's hand stopped the tear, her thumb swiping under Adora's eye. "I was supposed to be the one helping you to avoid trouble, but it turns out that you're the one protecting me from it."

"I'll always protect you, Adora. We're a team, you and I. Us against the world, yeah?" Her lips quirked upwards into a blink-and-you-miss-it smile, but Adora saw it. Adora saw it, because she only had eyes for Catra. She would only ever have eyes for Catra, she would come to find out in the years to come.

____________________________ 

_Fifteen_.

Adora and Catra were alone for another two years before they saw any new children. 

Although, they were not necessarily alone; the two girls had made friends with some of the servants who worked in the Fright Zone. Those who worked in the kitchen came to be their closest friends besides each other. The cooks made sure to sneak them extra foods, and sometimes they would even deviate from their assigned tasks to make little desserts for Adora and Catra to share. It was nice, and it was the most akin to a childhood that they would probably ever get. 

Shadow Weaver had been elated at Adora's and Catra's friendship for reasons unbeknownst to either of the two. It worried Adora, but Catra told her not to worry about it and she listened. Shadow Weaver had never seriously hurt her, and the woman had even punished the Horde general who had deemed it fit to teach Adora a lesson. Other than that, however, Shadow Weaver was awfully busy and she was only seen on occasion by the two when she floated down the halls to get to her private room. 

It was Shadow Weaver who brought the new kids into the dormitory.

"Hello, Adora," she hissed in the way she was known to speak, black tentacles of shadow constantly moving beneath her even as she stood still. Then, with less affection: "Catra."

"Hi, Shadow Weaver," the two of them chorused. Adora and Catra were stood side by side, pressed together from knee to shoulder. Behind their backs they had linked their pinkies together, out of Shadow Weaver's sight. It was a thing that they did to anchor each other, a secret shared between the two of them. 

The woman brushed one gloved hand over a sheeted bed, her masked face trained on the empty bunk in front of her. The room was rather empty, and it was full of unfilled space. She turned, sharply, to Adora and Catra, who were still waiting patiently for whatever Shadow Weaver was going to tell them. 

"I have a surprise for you, children." Was what she said. 

"What is it?" Catra replied, her natural inquisitive nature getting the best of her. 

As if she had said the magic words, the door to the dormitory opened. There stood three teenagers, all of whom seemed to be vaguely the same age as Adora and Catra were. They looked relatively bored, very much unlike Romura or Catra had been when they had first arrived. The sole girl of the trio tapped her foot impatiently against the metal floor of the hallway as if they had been waiting outside the door for a rather long amount of time.

Shadow Weaver _did_ have a flair for the dramatics.

"Welcome the Horde's newest recruits!" The woman cried out, throwing back her arm to gesture towards the three teenagers. Her mask meant that Adora could not tell what she was thinking, but she had learned to read Shadow Weaver through her movements. She was excited, but for what? Adora did not know the answer to that question, and she was truthfully afraid to find out. An excited Shadow Weaver was an unpredictable one. 

Adora took a moment to look over the three teenagers, her eyes flickering over them as she felt Catra's finger tighten around her own. The girl's face was morphed into an expression of practiced boredom, her toned arms crossed over her chest and her eyes hard. She was the shortest of the trio, but not by much. Beside her was a boy. His head was covered in a mess of blond mane, and he was slightly taller than the girl had been, but much lankier. He was awfully thin and his facial expression was unmasked; it was clear for Adora to see just how scared the boy really was. The third of the group stood at the boy's shoulder as a threatening presence. He was big, bigger than either of the other two and much thicker. Unlike the other two, who had been very clearly human, he was reptilian in all but stature: he was biped and his build was very alike to that of a humans, but with a large head shaped like the dragons Adora had seen pictured in a storybook she had once found deep in the library. His eyes were yellow with a charcoal pupil staring resolutely down at the floor, and his sharp teeth poked out sporadically from their mouth. 

"Children," Shadow Weaver called out, her voice high and haughty. "Introduce yourselves."

The trio seemed to want to resist for a moment, but after sharing a quick look with the others, the sole girl decided to speak up: "I'm Lonnie," she said, and pointed to the blond beside her. "He's Kyle, and he's Rogelio."

Catra and Adora shared a look between the two of them, because they did not know how they were supposed to reply. Shadow Weaver was looking at them expectantly, and Catra raised and eyebrow at Adora as if to say: _I don't know what to do, you do something_.

"Welcome to the Horde," Adora said, wincing internally. She pointed her left hand at her own chest, mimicking the same motion that Lonnie had done and said, "I'm Adora. Her name is Catra." 

"Hi." Catra said.

The five teenagers stared at each other, none of them knowing what to do now that they had introduced themselves. They waited for Shadow Weaver to turn the attention back to herself as she was usually guaranteed to do. She did not disappoint.

"Children," Shadow Weaver began, her dark aura receding momentarily. Despite the fact that her facial expressions were covered by the thick mask she wore, the tone of her voice betrayed her elation. "By Hordak's command, I have selected each of you for a rather... _special_ purpose. Together, the five of you will train to become an elite force; together, you will spearhead the Horde's fight against the rebellion. You will train, alone and together, until each of you are ready to take on the responsibility I have so graciously gifted to you. Do _not_ disappoint me."

 

With that said, Shadow Weaver floated out of the room. Lonnie and Kyle both startled out of her way as she moved to pass between them, Kyle's face highlighting the apparent fear he harbored for the woman. He calmed slightly when Rogelio placed a large hand of his shoulder, and Kyle turned to quirk a small grin up at him. 

Lonnie huffed in the direction that Shadow Weaver had left in, before making her way into the dormitory more fully. She took a moment to acquaint herself with her new surroundings, before turning to acquaint herself with the two teenagers in front of her. Adora watched as Lonnie's eyes raked over her, and Adora fought to keep her muscles from tensing at the feeling. 

"I hope you know how to fight," Catra snarked, startling Adora from her internal stressing. She quirked her head to the side to look over at her best friend and was confused at the anger she saw lurking in Catra's eyes. "I've been waiting to leave this place for years."

Her words stung something deep in Adora's chest, but she was careful not to let it show on her face. She was helpless to stop Catra from unlinking their pinkies, helpless to stop Catra as she stepped up to tower over Lonnie. Lonnie's lips quirked up into a sneering smirk in response, widening her stance and matching Catra's glare with one of her own.

"I can't wait to see what you can do, Catra." Lonnie's eyes narrowed, and her smirk widened in challenge as she eyed up the girl in front of her. "I only hope it's enough to keep up with me."

"Oh, yeah?" She purred, tail rising up to brush against Lonnie's jaw. "Let's go then, right now."

Lonnie nodded in assent, smirked, and then the two were gone. 

"So, uh. Are like, all these bunks open or.. Are we liked, assigned one?" 

Adora turned her head to see Kyle standing awkwardly beside her, shifting his weight from foot to foot and looking rather confused. His eyebrows were furrowed, but not meanly. Adora realized that he was waiting for her to answer him, and she stuttered for a moment before the words that he had said registered in her brain.

"Uh, you can sleep wherever. I sleep over there," Adora pointed towards the bottom bunk that housed her tattered blue blanket. She realized that she had been pointing for far too long and quickly dropped her hand back down to her side again. "None of the other bunks are taken. It's just, uh, me and Catra who sleep in here."

"Where does Catra sleep?" Kyle asked, looking around the dormitory. All of the other beds were dark with dust and only Adora's had the essence of having been slept in. "All of the other bunks look, well..."

"With me." Adora blurted out, her cheeks heating up as the blood rushed into them. At Kyle's confused stare, she hurried to give him an explanation. "I mean, she sleeps in my bed, too. We share it."

"Oh," Kyle said.

"Yeah," Adora replied. 

_So much for being the Horde's greatest weapon_ , Adora thought bitterly to herself. 

____________________________ 

_Seventeen_.

It had started off as a normal day, all things considered.

Adora had woken up thinking about how uncomfortably hot her feet felt. As she came to, she lazily blinked open her eyes to take in the sight before her. A sigh escaped her lips as she resigned herself to her fate once she realized why her feet were so terribly overheated. 

Down at the end of the bed, Catra had positioned herself so that she was draped over the blonde's feet. This in turn meant that both of Adora's feet were trapped underneath Catra's midsection, even after she attempted to wiggle them out from underneath her friend. 

"Looks like you're having fun." A voice said from a few bunks over, and Adora tilted her head to the left to peer at Lonnie. Said girl looked amused at the sight of Catra and Adora, her hand raised to stifle a quiet laugh and her normally serious eyes sparkling with her mirth. 

Adora rolled her eyes at the observation, but she made no move to try separating from Catra. The blonde softened her response by smiling serenely in Lonnie's direction, however. Despite Lonnie and Catra's rather harsh rivalry, the two of them were still friends when they wanted to be, and Adora had never had anything against the other girl.

_Except for when Catra can't seem to look away from the other girl_ , Adora's mind supplied torturously, but she shook that particular thought away. 

Adora closed her eyes again, hoping that she could fall back into the soft caresses of sleep. She could feel the darkness pulling her back under again, clouding her brain and dulling her senses. The only thing the teenagers did during the day anymore was train, and they were finally reaching their potentials as Horde soldiers. 

It was no surprise to anyone that Kyle was the team's weakest link, even to Kyle himself. No matter how hard he trained, no matter who attempted to train him, Kyle struggled. It was a good thing the blond teenager had Rogelio by his side at nearly any point in time. Rogelio and Lonnie were both extremely competitive, much like Catra, and that exact combative nature was what led to the three of them becoming so increasingly skilled in fighting. They knew each other's fighting capabilities and weaknesses well, and that translated into their teamwork. 

Catra was ultimately the best out of the five of them when it came to offensive fighting, but that was to be expected. When it came down to it, Adora was hard-pressed to find something Catra was not good at. Except staying on Shadow Weaver's good side, of course. Catra was absolutely horrid at that, but that was okay because Adora was always there to protect her from their shared parental figure. If she was being honest with herself, Adora believed that there was something much more sinister than general dislike when it came to how Shadow Weaver viewed Catra, but when she had tried to bring up the subject to Catra, she had demanded that Adora drop it. So, she had.

The distinct, sharp sound of someone banging heavily against the door to the dormitory had Adora sitting up quickly, blinking sleep out of her eyes and looking around wildly at her surroundings. 

" _Cadets Catra and Adora, Shadow Weaver demands your presence in the ship hangar, now!_ " A voice, deep and loud, yelled from outside the door. Adora brushed a hand through her sleep-tousled blonde hair, before using the strip of cloth around her wrist to pull the loose strands up into a tight ponytail. 

It was a common occurrence for Adora to sleep fully clothed, so she only had to slip her feet into her standard-issue boots and tie the laces to be ready to meet with Shadow Weaver for whatever she needed from herself and Catra. 

_Speaking of Catra_ , Adora thought, _where is she?_

The dormitory was empty, so Adora's seemingly quick doze must have turned into her actually falling back asleep. With a shrug, the blonde folded up her ratty blue blanket and tucked it carefully between her pillow and the wall behind her bunk. Deeming herself as ready as she would be to meet with Shadow Weaver, Adora set a brisk path for the exit.

The scanner next to the door beeped as it passed over Adora's palm, recognizing her and allowing her to exit. With a pivot on her heel, the blonde began jogging through the hallways and towards the ship hangars. It was weird to be heading there, of all places, because neither Catra nor Adora had the clearance to leave the Fright Zone, let alone be around the ships. 

As she ran down the long, curved hallways of the Fright Zone, Adora was struck by how unendingly boring her home really was. Pipes spitting out spurts of smoke and gray paneling outlined by a red glow were all the decoration that was to be had. It was depressing, but Adora was used to the cold monotony of her home. She just wished that one day, some day, she would be allowed to leave the Fright Zone, even if it was just for a moment. 

Adora wanted to know what a flower looked like in person, not just via sketches in an old book she had found in Shadow Weaver's library. She wanted to smell something that was not the byproduct of chemicals, something fresh. Hopefully, that day would come soon.

The blonde slowed her pace as she neared the ship hangar. She had never been allowed inside of it before, has never even caught a glimpse of what might be contained inside. Excitement bubbled up from deep within Adora's stomach and her lips upturned in an ecstatic little grin. Taking a deep breath, Adora pressed her palm against the glass paneling of the scanner that would allow her entrance into the hangar. 

She had not realized that she had been holding her breath until the scanner flashed green, allowing her to enter. The big, gray slab of metal that acted as a door slowly rolled out of sight to grant Adora access into the short hallway beyond it. The hallway was made of the same drab paneling as the rest of the Fright Zone, but it only went straight for a few feet before veering sharply to the right. 

Interest piked, Adora found herself creeping down the hallway.

She kept her body close to the wall on the right, which allowed her to peek out slowly from behind the corner to see what had been hidden from the original doorway. 

" _-ome on!_ Just tell me already, what's up with all this secrecy, anyways?" Catra huffed, her arms crossed over her chest and her ears flattened against her skull. She was staring down Shadow Weaver with a fierce glower, but the elder woman was unaffected by such a display. 

Shadow Weaver simply sighed as she floated a distance away from Catra. "No more of this, Adora has arrived. Step out from the shadows, Adora. I must speak with you both."

Adora winced at having been caught, but she was not truly surprised. Shadow Weaver had eyes everywhere, but especially within the shadows. When the blonde stepped fully around the corner to walk towards where the two were standing, Adora watched as Catra's entire demeanor visibly softened. It was a testament to how close they were that Catra was always so much gentler around Adora. She was still an asshole, but she was never, ever malicious to Adora. They loved each other, unconditionally. 

"Hey, Adora," A cheshire grin stretched Catra's lips, her sharp incisors poking out of her mouth at the action. She waved one hand to salute Adora lazily, and then turned her attention back to Shadow Weaver when the elder woman cleared her throat. 

Adora leaned in close to Catra's ear when she was close enough to do so, and whispered: "Hey, Catra. I missed you this morning."

"I couldn't sleep, so I decided to go train instead. Sorry, I didn't want to wake you." Adora could tell when Catra lied, and she was not at the moment, so Adora left the conversation at that. Both teenagers turned instead to look at Shadow Weaver and gift her with their full attention. 

Shadow Weaver looked small in comparison to the enormous cavern that they had found themselves in. The ship hangar was much, much larger than any other room in the Fright Zone; it had to be, to house all of the Horde station's tanks, ships, and other war machines. Catra's expression visibly brightened at the sight of the hovercrafts stationed to their right, and Adora could not help but feel the same. She wanted to experience the outside world more than anything.

"Children," Shadow Weaver began once they reached what seemed to be the middle of the giant hangar. Her voice was less harsh than usual, and the ghoulish woman even seemed to sound almost happy in her tone of voice. Her hair lapped gently at the edges of her mask and her shoulders, and none of her shadows had come out to play like they would have if this was a lashing. "I would like to pass on congratulations to the both of you, from both myself and Lord Hordak."

Catra and Adora exchanged confused glances at that. 

_Lord Hordak? What could he be congratulating us about?_ Adora thought, confusion prevalent in her mind as she reviewed everything that she and Catra had done lately. Catra seemed to be thinking much of the same, her eyebrows furrowing heavily over her eyes in thought. 

"For what?" Adora asked, finally, when it seemed like Shadow Weaver was holding out for one of them to speak.

"I'm glad you asked," she said. Her mask was a blank slate, as it always was. "I have been given the honor of telling you both of your new... _promotion_."

"Promotion?" It was Catra who asked, this time.

Shadow Weaver nodded her head, once, twice, before reaching into the pocket of her robes and withdrawing something clenched in her fist. She extended her arm, slowly and methodically. Both teenagers waited with bated breath to see what their mentor held within the clasp of her gloved fingers. 

"Congratulations." With a flick of her wrist, she unveiled the items the now lay at rest on top of her palm. "I suspect that you will do great things in the name of Lord Hordak, Force Captain Catra and Force Captain Adora."

Silence prevailed as both Catra and Adora were thrown with surprise. Neither of them had ever expected to be promoted to the status of force captain. The fact that the two of them were promoted together was even more surprising. Adora's mind was sent reeling as she thought about all of the things she could do as a force captain. The most prevalent of those thoughts was one reoccurring realization: she could take a hovercraft and _leave_.

Adora barely registered the fact that Shadow Weaver had continued to speak to the two of them, the woman's words flowing in one ear and out the other. Nothing mattered more in that moment than the fact that the tiny enamel pin in her hand meant that Adora could leave the premises. A tiny pin indicated that Adora could finally experience what a flower looked like, what it smelled like, felt like. The blonde blinked, and Shadow Weaver was gone. 

"Are you thinking what I'm thinking?" Catra grinned, big and broad. Her sharp teeth were on full display and her pin designating her as force captain was already secured to her shirt. Adora's heartbeat quickened, but she ignored it. 

"Yeah," Adora breathed out. "I think I am."

____________________________

"This is _amazing!_ " Adora could not help but shout with glee as she and Catra flew through the forest on their borrowed hovercraft miles away from the Fright Zone. The smells, the colors, the feelings were things that Adora had never felt before in her life. She was struck by the desire to stop and touch. "Can we stop for a moment?"

"Of course!" Catra yelled back over the sound of the wind rushing past their ears. She withdrew the thrusters from max speed slowly. Earlier she had pulled back on the thrusters far too fast, resulting in both of them flying head over heels out of the cruiser and onto the ground. It has hurt, and Adora was still nursing her bruised skin while Catra nursed her bruised ego.

Once the vehicle has slowed to a stop and was idling, Adora used the side of the hovercraft as leverage to leap out from inside the well of the cruiser. Catra was quick to follow.

The blonde nearly startled when she felt Catra link her pinky around Adora's own, but she managed to still herself. Her blush was something she could not keep in check, but her hair had fallen out of its ponytail during the ride and it now partly masked her face. 

"Hey, wait," Catra said, her pinky tugging on Adora's own. When Adora turned, it was to the sight of Catra's free hand lifting up to her face. Adora did not have the time to question Catra before the girl was pushing Adora's fallen hair behind her ear and pinning it back with a soft object. Adora face must have betrayed her shock, because Catra suddenly looked rather sheepish. "You're always going on about loving flowers, so I thought you wouldn't mind having one in your hair."

"Flowers?" Adora wondered, before her eyes strayed past Catra and towards the ground. " _Oh_."

Hundreds of small flowers littered the ground, all in varying hues and sizes. It was beautiful, and it was all Adora had ever wanted to see. Catra bent at the waist to snap the stem of a beautiful yellow flower with delicate, long petals and a soft fuzzy center. Her eyes were soft as she stared down at the flower in her hand, an emotion akin to wistfulness flashing for a moment before leaving again. "It's beautiful," she whispered. "I love it."

Adora nodded, agreeing with her best friend. "Yeah," she breathed. But, Adora was not looking at the flower in Catra's hand. Adora was staring at Catra, highlighted by the glow of the sun and face relaxed with her genuine joy. "She is beautiful."

Catra did not seem to hear her words, but Adora could not stop thinking them the entire ride back to the Fright Zone. Catra was beautiful, and that was just something that Adora accepted. 

___________________

Adora wished that she had never gone to force captain orientation. 

Earlier that morning, Catra had begged and pleaded Adora to let her skip the orientation, weedling about how they did not need it. She wishes now that she had given in to Catra's pleas, because then she would not have to be feeling what she was right now. 

_Why am I so worked up over this?_ Adora thought, scrubbing her face harshly with the palms of her hands. Her eyes burned from staring at a badly done powerpoint presentation for upwards of four hours, and her butt ached from the terrible metal chair that she had been forced to sit in for the entirety of that time. 

It would have been fun, except for the fact that Adora had spent the whole time alternating from between feeling distraught and infuriated. 

Catra had spent the entire time flirting with one of the other newly promoted Horde members named Force Captain Scorpia. Adora's eye twitched as she remembered watched Catra's tail flick out to trail up Scorpia's massive claw, her eyes shadowed and sultry. It had been horrible. She had only just recently accepted the fact that maybe she was in love with Catra, and that maybe Catra was in love with her back, but all of that hope left her during the force captain orientation. 

Adora could not hide from the fact that Catra was infatuated with Force Captain Scorpia. She had even purred at the other woman! And, truly, Adora could not even be angry with Scorpia, because she was one of the sweetest people that Adora had ever met. 

( _Not that Adora had met too many good people, living in the Fright Zone and all._ )

But, Adora's chest felt hollow at the realization that perhaps all of the interactions between herself and Catra were skewed in her brain. Had Catra really only ever seen Adora as a friend? Adora had always wanted it to be more, had believed that they were more. Catra was Adora's rock, and Adora believed that she had been the same for Catra... but what if she was wrong?

She wished that they had never attended force captain orientation.

Adora rounded a corner on her aimless walk to clear her head, but then immediately she wished that she had not. Catra had the length of her body plastered to Scorpia's side, her sharp claws tiny as they rested on top of one of Scorpia's claws. Scorpia was blushing profoundly, and Catra was smirking that one smirk that she had only ever directed at Adora before. It was the smirk that alerted Adora to the fact that Catra was just plain _happy_.

Every interaction between Catra and Scorpia had made Adora's chest feel just a tiny bit tighter, but now it was almost as if it were hard to breathe. 

The blonde turned on her heel, quick, and rushed away from the two force captains. She was panting, hard, and her throat burned, but so did her heart-

She had not made it more than a few hallways away before she was bent over at the waist, her diaphragm heaving and her breath nothing more than a weeze. There was something blocking the air from getting into her lungs, but she did not know what it was. Then, Adora was coughing. Diaphragm shattering, throat tearing coughs wracked Adora's body as something fought to escape her mouth. 

With a sickening gag, Adora finally spit out the object that had been causing her so much pain. Her eyes were dizzy from lack of air and her body was resting heavily against the gray panelling of the hallway, but there was no mistaking what was in her grasp.

In Adora's hand sat a small, yellow flower petal. A drop of blood had stained the bottom portion of it, but it was still unmistakably the same flower that Catra had plucked that day, the same flower that Catra had told Adora that she _loved_.

The universe was cruel, and Adora could not stop her tears from sliding silently down her cheeks.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading!
> 
> Comments of any kind and kudos are greatly appreciated; even something as simple as a '<3'! Thank you all very much for getting this far. :")
> 
>  
> 
> P.S. I do not own She-Ra or the characters, but all of the inevitable grammar mistakes are mine. Reposting without my consent is not allowed.


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